Day 72 / 108 Challenge

#72

"I bow for friends who have been beside me, sharing my laughter and tears."

I told myself that I would take a break today, but I made a list of to-do's the night before because otherwise I was too overwhelmed to fall asleep. The day started off ok as I actually took time to recharge. Here's the photo I took while I was enjoying the beam of rays. It was a very awakening moment.

However, things started to escalate a lot as I began to empty out the place properly for the move. Although there were less items involved, still the process of moving out was extremely stressful. On top of that, I had to deal with few other issues related to the old and the new house. And most importantly, I still wished to be present for my girlfriend. Which obviously failed miserably.

Undoubtedly, there are numerous benefits of fully utilizing the day every day, and one of them is that you get a lot done each day. The ugly truth or the shadow behind is that your day will feel much longer, and not in a dreadful way. This means that someone's perception of a week will feel like two weeks or a month for you. And I have to be mindful of this, because I can come off as too aggressive. Generally not being in contact with a friend for a day or two is ok. However, if I am operating at 2-4x pace compared to that friend, I may feel like I had not communicated for a week. Which, then will lead to me being even more overwhelmed for not being in contact on top of other stuff I have to deal with.

Currently I came to a conclusion that I took on too many responsibilities than I can handle. The nature of my "I can do it" finally caught up to me, and I think the universe is trying to tell me to slow down.

For 2 weeks straight I had been surpassing my personal record at lifting, my physique was at its lifetime peak, killing it at work, and building meaningful relationship with friends and my girlfriend. But I was missing one very crucial point. Taking care of ME.

I mistook the simple act of doing this challenge or following my routine (and doing more) with the self-care. I mean, it helps, partially. The physically, mentally, and spiritually stimulating activity that sculpts you into a better man IS part of self-care, but so is taking time off to let yourself breathe.

Right now, I find myself hardly being able to be present. Rather, it feels like I am constantly worrying about the future (sometimes too far in the future that gets me even more stressed unnecessarily), plan for it, and get by day by day. This is not the way to live a happy life, no matter how productive I am.

Unfortunately, somethings have deadlines (ones with greater financial repercussion) so I cannot take days off completely right now. However, I must take action before it is too late.

This is what I am going to do to allow myself to recharge:

• Taking half-day off in the office

• Going on a de-load phase in the workouts (less stress on my body and mind trying to figure out gym schedule while moving)

• No to social mandates

• Still follow the meal plan and schedule (VERY IMPORTANT)

Once things calm down, I will re-evaluate what is important to me, and add those responsibilities back into my life.

I foresee my life stabilizing once I move into a new house in 10 days. I will also then have a holiday and a weekend to properly recharge because I will not have to worry about where I will stay nor what work I will have to do.

I am grateful how supportive my girlfriend is. She reassures me to make me feel secured about our relationship, and encourages me to take time for myself to sort things out.

I am also grateful for myself coming this far in life. While dealing with all these stressful situations and failures, I look at myself in the mirror and I am just so proud of myself.

Lately I am obsessed with the sentence "build the garden". Here is a more detailed quote from online:

"If you spend your time chasing butterflies, they'll fly away, If you spend your time making a beautiful garden, the butterflies will come to you. And if they don't come, you still have your garden."

And this hit me hard.

I am glad that I focused on building the garden (improving myself - just being a better person than who you were before) versus chasing butterflies (success, respect from others, and etc.) all this time. So even when things do not go the way I envisioned or I do not get the result I wanted, I still have the better me who are stronger, fitter, wiser, and more loving.

---

Challenge Log

Requirements
No Snacks No drinks or desserts exceeding weekly limit	No snacks
Water intake (max 2L)	1.5L
2x Pomodoro flows (read min. 10 pages)	Interior design & renovation plan
Productive activity (write a journal or a blog; create a product)	Journalling
Physical activity (min. 45 minutes)	PULL DAY 1. Cable chin-up 140lb 4x8 2. DB row 60lb 4x8 3A. DB curl 20lb 4x8 3B. DB tri-extension 20lb 4x8 4A. DB pullover 45lb 4x8 4B. DB bench 20lb 4x8 5. Weighted leg raises 12lb 3x6 6. Hanging leg raise + 30s boat hold 5x10
Wildcard (any 1 of read/produce/exercise above)	(PRODUCE) Prepping for move

Should've/Would've/Could've

-- It's ok. You MUST take a break at this point. You are still far better than who you were before. Taking a break will not set you back. Keep going forward without break WILL.

Drink/Dessert tickets remaining: 1