Day 63 / 108 Challenge

#63

"I bow to be thankful that I can find myself in silence."

I was certainly not in a chirpy mood this morning as I was still trying to make sense of my feelings and thoughts yesterday. I then caught myself wanting to purposely hurt myself. One evidence was my plan to eat unhealthy amount of food. In order to minimize the downfall, I decided to go on do-not-disturb mode and just focus on setting up small goals and completing them throughout the day.

I could see that my mood was affecting the team, but that was the most I could do at the time. I should be better at controlling my emotions, but my default mode is extremely positive and cheerful that my 'neutral' or 'calm' mode affects others around me and makes them worry.

Also, I know well enough that staying with this negative mindset is unproductive and will indeed bring some real negativities. I know exactly what the solution is, how to do it, and am fully capable of doing so (switching to positive mindset). However, part of me wants to stay in this state to continue to deep dive on the thoughts (or concerns?) I have.

I will try to discover as much tonight, and starting tomorrow I will begin to ignore the negative thoughts and only tune into the positives.

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Challenge Log

Requirements
No Snacks No drinks or desserts exceeding weekly limit	For some reason, I wanted to punish my body. The chocolate cookie offered in the office was well taken care of today.
Water intake (max 2L)	2L
2x Pomodoro flows (read min. 10 pages)	Investment research readings
Productive activity (write a journal or a blog; create a product)	Journalling
Physical activity (min. 45 minutes)	LEG DAY 1. Squat 225/265/275lb 3/2/1 (PR) 2. Front squat 205lb 4x3 3A. Bulgarian DB squat 40lb 4x6 3B. Side lateral raise 40lb 4x6 4A. Hip thrust 180/230/250/270 6 reps 4B. Front delt raise 30lb 4x6 5. Hanging leg raise + 30s boat hold 4x10
Wildcard (any 1 of read/produce/exercise above)	(EXERCISE) Outdoor walk (PRODUCE) Daily market digest

Should've/Would've/Could've

-- You are making the right step by being aware of how your mood affects people around you. Next step would be how to handle it better, so it affects them the least negative way.

Drink/Dessert tickets remaining: 2